Who Loves You?

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I was asked the other day, Who loves you?  The question took me aback for a second – I don’t think anyone has ever asked me that before.  But then I rattled off a handful of names.  That’s good right?  And then the person said, Yeah, that’s great!  Sometimes if I ask a person who loves them I just get crickets on the other end.

That struck me, and stung.  That people are living lives out there without being or feeling loved by anyone.  It made me think of why I love those videos so much – you know, the ones where a stranger stands in public and offers hugs.

And then I went on You Tube to watch one of those videos and found this comment:

“I Don’t know if you ever read these comments still but id just like to say this video changed my life a few years ago when I was in a dark place. I would just like to thank you for that.”

How beautiful is that?

There was a time not so long ago when I was such a wreck that I cried every morning before I got out of bed, and every night, all night, until I awoke at 4 a.m. and it started again.  I had lived unconscious for so many years, and when I awoke, my life was about 3 times too unwieldy to handle, and I struggled with wanting to cut loose and run.  I was choked with guilt for wanting to leave, and crippled by the weight of what it would take to stay and pick up the pieces.

Once, in the midst of those days, a woman who worked at a bakery saw me sitting on the stairs, trying to get my bearings.  She was on a break and when she saw me it was clear that I’d been crying.  She was much younger than me.  She wiped her hands on her apron and approached me.  Hi, she said quietly.  Would you like a hug?  I nodded and stood up.  And she hugged me strongly and held me while I cried.  It was beautiful.  This tenderness from a total stranger, who I would not even recognize today.

Life is so good now that it’s hard to remember that time.  But I want to do that for someone else.  And I have an idea in the works.  Stay tuned.

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